Sunday, November 21, 2010

Long Walks on Angry Days

I am ashamed that I haven't been posting on a regular basis. I miss the therapeutic aspect of choosing a topic and pouring out my soul.

Today hasn't been the most relaxing day of my life. A trip to the laundromat always tends to suck -- who gets off on sorting, washing, drying, and folding after all? I must admit that I'm a creature of habit. I've only washed clothes a few times here in MA, but I can say the experience is a tad bit better than in that major metropolis where my roots lie.

I went for a nice walk between cycles and tried to not let the issue that has been eating away for me heavily the past few weeks (even invading my sleep) bubble to the top of my consciousness. Well it failed.

The more I walked -- the more I had time to understand what was bothering me. I tend to be a rather patient person (I used to listen to customers gripe about our products for over ten years after all). On the other hand, avoidance is not one of my best attributes. If I'm upset the issue keeps cycling back and forth until it bubbles to the top -- and then an explosion is likely the result.

I walked pass the town border and enjoyed letting my brain stand up for why I was upset and making a decision to confront the perpetrator. The difficulty in this task is the person is actually a "good guy" at heart -- but a pain in the ass in actuality. Rules...passive aggressiveness...clear indications of wanting to engage in a pissing contest...are amongst the charges. Then again the person can be nice, caring, helpful...

The conclusion that I came to is that's actually the personality of an abusive personality (no fist a cuffs -- no worries). Classic nasty actions followed by behavior that almost makes the person thinks they are crazy (said kindness).

I need to nip it in the bud soon otherwise my not so nice temper will flair and the individual will see my other darker side!