Sunday, November 21, 2010

Long Walks on Angry Days

I am ashamed that I haven't been posting on a regular basis. I miss the therapeutic aspect of choosing a topic and pouring out my soul.

Today hasn't been the most relaxing day of my life. A trip to the laundromat always tends to suck -- who gets off on sorting, washing, drying, and folding after all? I must admit that I'm a creature of habit. I've only washed clothes a few times here in MA, but I can say the experience is a tad bit better than in that major metropolis where my roots lie.

I went for a nice walk between cycles and tried to not let the issue that has been eating away for me heavily the past few weeks (even invading my sleep) bubble to the top of my consciousness. Well it failed.

The more I walked -- the more I had time to understand what was bothering me. I tend to be a rather patient person (I used to listen to customers gripe about our products for over ten years after all). On the other hand, avoidance is not one of my best attributes. If I'm upset the issue keeps cycling back and forth until it bubbles to the top -- and then an explosion is likely the result.

I walked pass the town border and enjoyed letting my brain stand up for why I was upset and making a decision to confront the perpetrator. The difficulty in this task is the person is actually a "good guy" at heart -- but a pain in the ass in actuality. Rules...passive aggressiveness...clear indications of wanting to engage in a pissing contest...are amongst the charges. Then again the person can be nice, caring, helpful...

The conclusion that I came to is that's actually the personality of an abusive personality (no fist a cuffs -- no worries). Classic nasty actions followed by behavior that almost makes the person thinks they are crazy (said kindness).

I need to nip it in the bud soon otherwise my not so nice temper will flair and the individual will see my other darker side!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Incessant Ramblings

So for those of you that don't know I love listening to sermons from Joel Osteen. I would have never imagined myself as a tele-church parishioner but life has certainly gravitated me in that direction. One of my closest friends reminds me of the days when I was young where I traveled with a bible in toe, the Daily News, and the filthiest mouth that one could ever imagine. It was okay because in many ways this contradiction epitomized who I was--way too intelligent to read a tabloid, extremely curious about religion--especially coming to an understanding based on a personal relationship rather than having one forced on to me, and yet a tongue as sharp as a scorpion--Napoleon complex meets growing up in not the kindest neighborhoods.

That seems so foreign to me now, perhaps ten years later. Much more certain at life, three decades in the making, much certain of self, three decades in the making, with a BusinessWeek and bible still in toe and a Managing Global Economy text--still a contradiction of sorts...a lot of lessons learned and still eager to sip from life's Kool Aid.

I love stream of consciousness because I love to be unconfined living life as freely as I think, not unbound, but still free to be me.
Inspiration comes in strange bursts. I had no intentions of writing today, but a text message took me to a site of young artists eager to leave an impression on the world.

Passion Filleted

Waves meet the shore,
Like a distant relative,
Uncertain to the touch,
And ambivalent in its embrace.

Oh cruel joke,
Parted by tide.
Driven further away,
On a moonlit night.

Don’t forget me,
Carried away,
Slave to memory,
Passion filleted.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Speak Soft and Carry a Weapon of Mass Destruction

I'm back! For some reason the title of this post has been in my head all day. Perhaps my mind is going back in history to the days of Teddy Roosevelt where speak soft and carry a big stick was sound advice. Unfortunately the landscape of the world has moved at lightning speed where a stick wouldn't even win you a street fight. A fourth grader might be packing after all!

It is funny to look at the United States at the turn of the 20th century just beginning its imperialist pursuit. Fast forward over a 100 years and North Korea, Iran, Russia, and China are not afraid to call the United State's bluff. There was even talk during the VP debate of a league of democratic nations. What's going to happen every time a member is disagreeable you start a new organization? Get a grip. Diplomacy is about actually going to the table. Knowing when to speak softly and when to raise your voice is a powerful skill set to have at your disposal.

I for one have always respected those that can get their points across sternly without yelling, see an African-American mother's eye glare in the dictionary. Speak softly and carry an African-American mom to the table, LOL. When I'm a CEO I'll remember to keep that one in my bag of tricks. Off to watch the debate!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Oh Blog Where Art Thou?

It's been awhile since my last post, almost two months. I realize how much I miss it. I have to make time to put up something, even if it is just a few thoughts. I'll have to put a twice a week minimum posting requirement for myself.

Since my last post I bought a Honda Civic EX which I love! It's so fuel efficient. It has good interior space and did I mention I just love it. It's actually my first car. I had people question my decision to buy a new car, but at the end of the day it was my decision. I did what worked best for me, so the doubters can doubt, but when I am getting 38 mpg driving up to Massachusetts I kind of laugh, or when I can drive to the nicer supermarket to get groceries, or when I don't have to worry about my car breaking down on me on that aforementioned 250 mile trip up near Boston.

I received my promotion at work. I am no longer handling any network support. I get to concentrate on the electronic side of the company, which is my love. I have my first direct report and more on the way. It's pretty cool combined with the fact that I started my MBA program last week. I had orientation and it was amazing. Babson is an amazing college, and the program that I'm in, Fast Track, is a wonderful opportunity for me to increase my knowledge base and open up my mind to different ways of thinking. The promotion actually gives me more of a vehicle/voice to start implementing or to try to implement what I'm learning.

My classmates are amazing. The program is really pushing us to be innovative. This is great for me, because I generally have a lot of ideas. I am finding better ways to make suggestions and to find ways to get around organizational obstacles.

I'm back and hopefully you'll never have this much of a break in seeing a post from me. I hope all is well! Now I have to get ready to do some work for school and for my job. TTYL

Monday, August 20, 2007

Just a moment please

I'm sitting in my house right now listening to my Ipod, thank you Allison. The music is soothing me. Things have been a little chaotic in my life lately. I'm studying some concepts I haven't seen in over ten years. I'm actually loving it, though commiting myself to accounting for four hours instead of watching a movie or hanging out with friends is something that I have to get reacquainted with.

Despite everything that's been going on I had a wonderful breakthrough with my father. We had a conversation that I don't think I ever thought we would get around too. It required the two of us to check our egos at the door, and to have a ocnversation, realizing it might hurt both of us, but in the long run it would be better for us, and it was.

And guess what? He apologized. This is pretty much a first. Now if you knew the whole story he really owed it to me. I forgave him a long time ago, but it was nice to hear him actually discuss things that come up in my mind from time to time. He's actually seeing a therapist. He's a counselor at a drug rehabilitation center. So he gets to help people along their journey, and at the same time deal with some of his demons.

For the first time in awhile I will actually tell him I love him, and mean it. So I am taking a moment to say despite all the bad things that can handcuff you--remembering things like this can certainly help you cope. If you can't find one good thing in your life--you're not looking hard enough.


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Pet Nation

Americans spent more than 40 billion dollars on their pets last year. That's more than the GDP of all but 64 nations combined. The 40 billion dollars is more than what's spent on music, video games, and movies combined. Interesting since this consumption nation is obsessed with instant gratification and the thought that the resources spent on pets surpassed these three heavily targeted mediums really surprised me.

The amount spent per year has doubled in a little over a decade. Why? Empty nesters, singles without children, etc. More than anything I think people embrace pets in a different way than they did even a decade ago. Pets are seen as extensions of a family. They give unconditional love. We open up our wallets. It's an equal exchange.

Now some of the excessive behavior, in my opinion, is seeing people pay for their pets to have plastic surgery. Or spending more money on a pet than you give to charity. I understand these are personal choices, but is it more important for your dog to have esteem (faux testicles after they are neutered, neuticles at $900 a pop) or to give money to one of many charities. Again this is a personal choice. I don't own any pets. I can understand why someone might lavish their pets, which is not a problem in my eyes, as long as you're socially responsible as well.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

30 Isn't So Bad

For those of you that don't know I turned 30 last Thursday. I certainly don't look 30 and I don't feel thirty (physically), but nevertheless I am. I feel blessed to have so many friends and such a wonderful family.

I had the best birthday party I've ever had this past weekend. It was a gathering of so many people from so many different parts of my life, a collage of friends and family if you will.

It made me feel loved and appreciated. I mean I don't normally get gifts for my birthday, which is fine by me. It means more for someone to spend time with me than to lavish me with gifts, I'm a simple guy. I did get so many thoughtgul gifts, that I was so touched. People took such an effort to express what our friendship/relationship meant to them. They picked things out that only meant something special to the two of us, or they just simply surprised me when I wasn't expecting anything at all.

In a way I'm the most humble I've ever been. I do remember taking in the moment, in between the drinking, dancing, and socializing, to say boy I'm blessed to have touched so many great people's lives and vice versa.

Thank you all for helping to make this birthday one that I will never forget.