Thursday, October 26, 2006

It's the Little Things that Make Me Happy

There was a day not long past that I sipped Pinot Grigio, Arbor Mist, from a flute glass carefree. Every part of that decision, including choosing the fruity inexpensive Pinot Grigio instead of a brand that would probably be more satisfying but exhaust my already over-tapped pockets, was wrestled over and the decision made was sound to both me and my wallet.

I’d chosen a brand that was relatively light to the taste. It was enjoyable. It wasn’t pretentious. The same went for the choice of the flute over the wineglass. I knew that it wasn’t “proper,” but the revelry brought a type of delight that I hadn’t felt in awhile. So I sat with my $6.99 bottle of wine in my apartment watching television while consuming a chicken breast sandwich to die for. The wine trickled down my throat and the bliss, or slight drunken spirit that possessed my soul, from it made me happy that something as simple as choosing a bottle of discount wine could be so empowering.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Groom Me

For some reason or another a particular memory came to as I rode the subway into work. It was of me riding the bus with my mother when I was a child. I remember always wanting to look out of the window. I wanted to absorb every ounce of the world around me. I asked my mother questions and she egged me on. She'd quiz me on the order of streets in Bedford Stuyvesant as we rode the B48 on the way to my godmother's house. When we transferred she'd wait for me to walk to the proper bus stop. We waited in the same area each time to connect to the B38. And then one day she told me that I'd have to ride the bus by myself. All those years she'd been preparing me for this step. I thought it was just a game that was meant to amuse me. Instead she'd been testing my competency to ride the bus without her.

She was terrified. But this was a part of letting me grow up. And I was very young, maybe nine and very small for my age. But she trusted me. She walked me to the bus stop and waved goodbye. I got off at the correct stop and stood in our usual spot. I waited and then got on the 38 and smiled at the driver and asked him to remind me when we got to Lewis avenue and gave him my transfer. And I played the street game and rang the bell long before the driver needed to remind me. My godmother waited at the stop for me. She too had been nervous. But she told me that she knew I could do it. And I've been traveling on my own ever since.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A Little Positive Energy Goes A Long Way

Have you ever been in a situation where someone's negative energy permeates the very depth of your soul? I have a bad habit of attracting "needy" people. These are generally the types of friends that are so much fun to be around when they are in a good mood and when everything is going right in their life, which is about twice a year. Can't you hear them? The sky is falling, the sky is falling...And it is only falling on them.

Well I'm not quite as patient with these types as I have been in the past. I might listen to you, but after awhile I'm liable to either distance myself from you or to really give you a piece of advice that goes something along these lines:

There are a lot of people that have had negative experiences, tough childhoods, etc., but do you want to be the type of person that lets that define you? Or do you want to be the type of person that can become an example, a living testimonial to people that have similar experiences? I have very little patience for people that enjoy having a pity party where I'm always invited, often the only one foolish enough to attend. Honestly I don't know what attracts these types of people to me. Perhaps it is in my pheremones, or perhaps my name is handed out in the needy club, a secret society where you can only be admitted with a convincing sob story.

Now don't take it that I'm not here for people. I'm here and if I have the ways and means to help someone I will do it. But I can't take the "needy" people that can't make a decision without consulting me, or never has anything positive to say. Is life really that bad? Or are you a common denominator in your own misery? Take a second to ask yourself why am I where I am in life? What can I do about it? And got damn it accept responsibility for your own behavior. That's the first step. The next is to come up with a plan to improve your way of thinking. Surround yourself with positive people. Misery loves company, but so does bliss. Good luck on your road to positive thinking.